Two Sides to the Same Coin

I've been wanting to talk about this for a while, finally mustered up the courage to.

I've been awarded the "Best Team Player" award

But I've also been rejected for an internal opportunity saying, I'm a bad team player.

These are at two different companies. 

In the first company, I was a Top Performer, highly competent, delivered great results.

But I always wore a chip on my shoulder. I feared team meetings. I always over prepared, but still felt like I was going to mess things up. 

When my chance came to speak, I would be cut off in when I paused to collect my thoughts. I always felt missed out. 

When I applied for a cross functional role internally, the manager of the department told me that he had heard from my team members that I wasn't a good team player.

When I met a colleague from the workplace outside of work, I casually asked him what the he and the team thought about me and he told me that they didn't see me as a friend.

When asked why, he told me that I don't smile at him when he zoom calls me. And the team thought I don't hang out much.

In the second company, I was top performer, highly competent, delivered amazing results, became a better salesperson, a better employee and the best team player.

Was never tired to work. Never avoided team meetings. Was constantly pulled into cross functional activities. 

Don't remember shying away from debates and conversations. Never felt judged. Openly admitted to mistakes and said "I don't know"

Never feared being vulnerable before the team or leaders. Made friendships for life. The kind that I can count on. 

The difference between company 1 and company 2 was, company 2 saw me for who I am, they had created this safe environment where I could thrive. I was always excited to start my day and never clocked my hours. 

I learned that it wasn't just me, who felt the way I did but every person I interacted with within company 2 across different teams shared the same feeling. The team shared a common value. People were not just friends but they revered each other. Never let anyone feel FOMO.

The leadership would sit me down when I was stuck or overwhelmed with a problem at hand. People always helped me and supported me without judgement.

At company 1, I'd always wanted to keep my head under the radar, just get through the month so I could get my paycheck. Only focused on my targets so I could make my commissions. Hated the EOD calls where people would chit chat at 2:30am in a language I never understood fully and they'd not care if I did or not.

 People in the leadership are always saying, "we've got to get the right people. I've got to hire good culture fits" But in reality it's not the people.

I was the same person at company 1 and company 2. I didn't make any new efforts. People behave differently in different environments. It's all about the leadership, and the environment they create.